Yintoni ke kufana ke gay expat kwi-south Korea - Matador Womnatha

Mhlawumbi kuba ngaphandle realizing oko, mna yaphendula

Wam isikorean co-utitshala xa wandixelela ukuba yena waba zange zahlangana a gay umntuI-gay icandelo lomboniso ingu iselwa iifayile kwi-south Korea, nkqu nokuba lo nyaka iphawulwe i-Queer Inkcubeko Festival kwi-i-seoul. Ndiya kukhumbula intlanganiso enye gay guy xa ndandisele i exchange lwabafundi kwi-south Korea Wesizwe Ngezifundo ka-Lobugcisa. Omnye gay guy kwi i-unguye esikolweni. Mna ke anomdla uvela icandelo lomboniso ukusuka i-insider s imbono, ngoko ke kwiiveki ezimbalwa edlulileyo, mna udliwano-ndlebe a gay i-american isixhosa utitshala malunga iingcinga zakhe kwi homosexuality kwi-south Korea, kwaye bakhe amava njengokuba foreigner ngaphakathi isikorean gay icandelo lomboniso. Mna ve wahlala i-seoul kuba ngonyaka kunye necala mna wahlala emntla i-seoul kuba ngonyaka kwaye ndiza kutsha nje besiya embindini.

Indlela vula ingaba malunga ekubeni gay kwi-south Korea vs.

Emelika? Ucinga njalo kufuneka fihla yakho sexuality? Hayi necessarily fihla, kodwa kuba ngaphezulu discreet, ingakumbi ukusukela mna m utitshala.

Kwi-KWETHU, plenty bam gay abahlobo ingaba ootitshala. Ayithethi t mba ukuba baya kuba umnyama sticker kwi zabo imoto okanye ukuba bamele i-inkokeli queer iqela ngexesha esikolweni. Kwi-south Korea, ukuba s uhlobo engaziwayo territory, kwaye yayo s? kakhulu taboo. Ucinga njalo kufuneka zibe ngaphezulu discreet malunga yakho sexuality everyday in life okanye nje emsebenzini? Nje ezithile kwiimeko. Umzekelo, ndinako uyixelele boss yam ukuba ndiza ndibona umntu okanye ukuba ndaya kumhla, kodwa kuba elifanelekileyo, ndibe hayi thetha i-i-american boss malunga ukuba noba. Omnye ke, kumazwe angaphandle, kwaye enye ufumana isikorean. Wam omdala esikolweni yaba makhulu kakhulu kwaye practically bonke ootitshala abavela kumazwe angaphandle wamazi. Ekugqibeleni ndabaxelela ezimbalwa isikorean ootitshala, esibizwa funny ngenxa yokuba kodwa kuza t kukholelwa kum ngexesha lokuqala. Baba ngathi, Into.

Hayi, ufuna ukuba ayilunganga.

Ukuba akasoze abe. Ukuba alikho ilungelo ndithetha ke ayisosine ukuba yayo s hayi akunjalo, kodwa thina zange wayecinga ukuba ubuya kuba ngolohlobo. Kulungile laughing Ewe, kunjalo, kwaye mna? bona nabo ngamanye amaxesha. Layo s na i-mba kwaphela, kodwa mna kodwa kuza t confide kuzo de ndandisazi ndinga trust kwabo. Kwi-States yayo s kakhulu lula ukuba umgwebi njani abantu baya react ukususela get-hamba. Mna ve weva stories malunga langaphandle ootitshala abaya kuba beze ngaphandle yabo isikorean abaphathi ezimayini kwaye kufuneka gotten abalawuli ngenxa kuyo. Andifuni t nyani ukuba ithuba kulo. Mna m a foreigner kweli lizwe izakuba ezahluka-hlukileyo ukuba mna baba a ummi emi phezulu ngenxa yam amalungelo. Mna osetyenziselwa umsebenzi kunye ummelwane wam s isikorean boyfriend, kwaye yena ngqo wabuza wakhe ukuba mna ke gay. Kunjalo, yena sele wamazi. Yena bambuza, ndiza kuya kuba yingxaki. Ingaba uyeke uthetha kuye. wathi yena, Hayi, mna ve nje zange zahlangana a gay mntu ngaphambili. Yena ke relaxed akanguye yintoni ndandicinga baba ngathi. Yena jokes jikelele lonke ixesha, ecela kum xa ndizakuthatha kuye kwi-gay bar. Ufana, bam girlfriend s bemkile. Mna kufuneka umdaniso okanye omnye umntu. Ngamanye amaxesha yena ll ufuna beka phantsi ngaphandle kwaye mna ll kuba njengaye, Uxolo ndine umhla. Yena ll othi, Oh ngenene. Ezilungileyo comment. Undixelele njani iyagqitha pha kamva. Yena akubonakali t bazive uncomfortable jikelele kum, kwaye ndiya appreciate ukuba okuninzi. Kwi-south Korea, wonke umntu usoloko ucela, ingaba unengxaki boyfriend. Ingaba unengxaki girlfriend? Ingaba ufuna ukuphendula xa umntu ucela wena ukuba wenze a girlfriend? Ndithi akukho. Layo s funny ngenxa yam abafundi ngokuqhelekileyo buza ngaphezu ngabantu abadala. Wam ubudala ingaba abafundi kwaye ubudala. Elinye ixesha, omnye wabo wathi, Utitshala, nisolko yedwa, akunjalo. Ndaza ndathi, yintoni ingaba ithetha yedwa. Ndinazo zonke kuni kwi-class.

Uyazi, uzama ukufumana kwabo ukuba senzo ngakumbi.

Ngoko ke, ngoko ufana, OH, akukho girlfriend.

kwaye enye uyaya, Boyfriend. Mna kwafuneka bite lwam ukusuka laughing. Ndiza njenge, Hayi, akukho boyfriend, kodwa ke mna onayo uhlobo ubuhlungu, ukucinga. Hayi, ngenxa yokuba ndingumntu bust kweli lizwe. Mna andinaku khangela ngokwam staying apha ngonaphakade, ngoko ndizama ukuba awuhlonele inkcubeko njengoko eyona kangangoko ndinako. Ukuba bekunjalo eyenzekayo kwi-States, ndiza kuba kakhulu upset. Mna m a ummi apho. Ndine amalungelo. Kodwa ukusukela mna m a bust apha, andikho ukuzama tyhala wam amaxabiso aye wonke umntu ongomnye. Mna ikakhulu ingaba efanayo izinto ndenze ekhaya ndiya uncwadi, iinkwenkwezi, kwaye ndiya kwi imihla yayo s harder kumhla nangona. Umzekelo, emva ekhaya kukho ngaphezulu unxulumano phakathi abahlobo, ngokunjalo LGBT amaqela, kodwa apha yonke into kakhulu ezifihliweyo.

Kukho u-gay neighborhoods kwi-i-seoul.

Itaewon kuko konke-wonke, attracting foreigners kwaye Koreans, kodwa yayo s ngoko ke ezincinane.

Kukho kuphela iinkwenkwezi, uncwadi, kwaye restaurants, njengoko Jingo, imida ukuba Koreans, ingaba - encinane venues.

Nangona kunjalo, iindawo ezininzi kwi-Jingo uphumelele khange vumelani foreigners kuzo ngaphandle kokuba izinto kunye isikorean guy, kwaye uninzi bam gay isikorean abahlobo ingaba mhlawumbi dating okanye babe wakhulela kwi-States, ngoko ke baya musa t kuyazi indawo kakuhle.

Mna ve chatted kunye guys abathe bayakhuthazwa kum khona. njenge, ndiyazi iindawo ukuba musa t discriminate, kodwa kufuneka kuza nam, ngoko ndinako kubonisa apho ke. Ewe, umzekelo, ukuthatha Chelsea Enew York City kukho imiqondiso ngaphandle izibhengezo gay uncwadi.

Kukho queensname bemi ngaphandle, njengoko kwi-i-seoul (ngokukodwa Jingo), kukho kodwa akukho discrepancy phakathi gay kwaye ngqo iinkwenkwezi.

Inokuba omnye discreet umqondiso, kodwa ngaphandle kokuba uqinisekile ukuba ngobukho ngayo, ubuya mhlawumbi nje okokuba ngumthetho ngaphandle wanikela ngayo yesibini ngcinga. Owu Thixo wam, ayo s ngoko ke ezincinane.

Ngoko ke, fucking ezincinane.

Yena kodwa kuza t k ubonakala ngathi iqinisekise

Kukho ezintathu engundoqo iindlela ukuhlangabezana guys. Okokuqala, ungakwazi kuhlangana guys ngokusebenzisa abahlobo bakho, kodwa oko akubonakali t kunokwenzeka rhoqo.

Okwesibini, ungaya iinkwenkwezi kwaye uncwadi, kodwa ukuba efumana ubudala emva ngeli xa ufuna constantly kufika ekhaya smelling njenge cigarettes kwaye utywala, kwaye uninzi guys ngabo kuphela anomdla omnye-busuku injalo.

Ewe, ayo s nje inyama kwimakethi ukufumana sakho amatye ngaphandle. Kwaye wesithathu khetho kukusebenzisa ifowuni app a ezimbalwa ethandwa kakhulu okkt ingaba Grindr kwaye Jack d, kwaye baya. Mna ve ngqo zahlangana a ezimbalwa mnandi abantu ngomhla kwabo. Layo s? okungekuko nangona. laughing i-apps kukuxelela indlela angakudlakathisi ngokwasemzimbeni vala awuqinisekanga ukuba umntu ukuba ufuna kwakhona chatting kunye. Mna lumisiwe ngokusebenzisa kwabo ngenxa yokuba babebaninzi yokufumana creepy. Kukho ilanlekile ka-guys ukuba nje ufuna hook phezulu, kodwa kukho abantu abakufutshane anomdla dating, kakhulu. Essentially yayo s ngathi i-intanethi inyama kwimakethi. Kwesinye isandla, States, kukho gay emidlalo leagues, gay ecula amaqela, gay camping, hiking, nokusebenzisa organizations, kwaye kukho gay neighborhoods. Kukho kofakwano uluntu layo s na into ukuba ifihlakele. Uyakwazi lula indlela umntu ukhe ubene anomdla, kodwa Korea, uyakwazi kuphela kwenza ukuba gay-libeke indawo, kwaye oko kukuthi limited ukuba bambalwa iinkwenkwezi kwaye uncwadi, okanye i-intanethi apps. Kanjalo, States, ngaphakathi wonke queer zoluntu, kukho amakhulu ezahlukeneyo personalities, kwaye Korea, abantu abaninzi categorize ngokwabo ngoko ke narrowly. Umzekelo, Oh, ndiza kakhulu ubufazi, kwaye mna kuphela njenge ngalendlela. Mna ve kuhlangatyezwana nazo abantu ngolohlobo kwi-States kakhulu, kodwa kwi-States, mna ve kanjalo ukuba eboniswe kwi eziyi-ezahluka-iintlobo gays: kakhulu flamboyant okkt, ubudoda-isithethi okkt, artsy theater-y guys, njalo njalo. Kwi-south Korea, uyabona gays ngomhla extremes, noba super agciniwe kwaye discreet okanye kakhulu ngaphandle nelikhwazayo kwaye uzive. Layo s rhoqo wathi ukuba amazwe apho ke yi gay taboo, okkt abo ayikwazi fihla kukhokela indlela kuphumla ye-amaqela. Kukho ilanlekile ka-Koreans abakhoyo kakhulu ngaphandle, kodwa zabo s abancinane phakathi kwabo, okanye mhlawumbi nje ukuba reluctance thetha malunga nayo. Oku frustrates kum. Wam motto kukuba kufuneka senze nokuba esihogweni uyafuna. Ukuba ufuna wear kancinci makeup, kuya kuba oko. Ukuba usondele kakhulu athletic, kwaye zonke ubufazi iimboniselo ajongise kuwe kwi, ukuba kukhulu. Nje kuba ethambileyo kunye lowo ufaka. Kwi-south Korea, ndicinga ukuba abaninzi guys bazive koxinzelelo conform njani ukuba baye bacinge ukuba kufuneka isithethi. Abantu abaninzi ingaba ukuvula i-minded.

Mna ve ifumanise ukuba foreigners musa t inika a shit.

Nangona kunjalo, mna ve uqaphele ukuba abaninzi gay foreigners ngathi ayixhasi namnye ukuba abe ayifumaneki. Babe ethabatha a waphula okanye inkqubo ukusuka i-eks. Layo s frustrating, ngenxa yokuba ndiya kuhlala apha, kwaye ndifuna umntu ezinzima. Abaninzi abathi ve nje bafika kwi-south Korea ingaba ngakumbi anomdla abajikelezayo kwaye ekubeni fun baya musa t ufuna ukuba abe iqinisiwe phantsi kwi boyfriend. Mhlawumbi ndiza nje ngenene picky. laughing Hugh, hayi enkosi. Kwaye njengokuba kude kube ngoku njengoko-calulo uyaya, abanye guys imeko yabo dating preference kwi-apps njengoko foreigners kuphela okanye Koreans kuphela. Andifuni t baqonde ukuba ndifumana ukuba abanye abantu babe attracted omnye uhlobo ngaphezu kwabanye, kodwa ukuba uyakwazi ukufumana enye kunye umntu, kwaye unqwenela ukuba umntu, kwaye abekho a hetalia sleaze ibhola, kuya kuba ke, kunokuba utshixo ngokwakho kwi omnye ethile, uhlobo.

Layo s okungekuko ukubona ukuba ngoko ke blatantly ngexabiso.

Kukho ilanlekile ka-stereotypes, kwaye yayo s efanayo kwi-NATHI ukuba i-kangakanani.

Kukho izinto ezininzi abantu abo musa t ingene uqhagamshelane kunye abantu abakufutshane ezahlukeneyo kunokuba ngabo. Umzekelo, xa loo isikorean actor, vavanya imifanekiso-Chun Hong, zaphuma, lowo ezilahlekileyo yakhe yonke sponsors kwaye kuqaliswe inkqubo restaurants. Mna ukufunda ingxelo inqaku kwi-intanethi, kwaye wathi abantu babeya rhoqo kuza kuyo yakhe restaurant kwaye harass kuye. Abanye abantu babeya zama ukuba alumkise abanye ukuba babeya kufumana i-AIDS ukuba utye ngexesha lakhe restaurant. Coincidentally, bazalwana queer uphando unjingalwazi waba isikorean, kuzalwa kwaye wavusa kwi-i-seoul. Yena ungeniswe ukuba yena misunderstood queer inkcubeko iminyaka emininzi ngenxa yokuba ulwazi akusebenzi t ezikhoyo xa wayengomnye esikolweni uninzi lwayo ukusuka stemming Ikomishini queer inkcubeko, njenge Stonewall.

Nkqu ngoku, jonga umtshato ukulingana.

(Oko kukuthi kwaye idabi kwi-KWETHU, kakhulu.) Kwi-south Korea, wonke mentality kukuba wena tshata umntu lowo unako inkxaso usapho ukuba ukukhulisa abantwana, kungakhathaliseki nokuba ngaba ngokwenene njengaye abo nisolko atshate okanye hayi. Nokuba ngaba re ngqo okanye gay, umsebenzi wenu kukuba ingaba abantwana baza kuqhubeka usapho lwakho umgca. Ngaphezulu imfundo ingaba ukuvumela abanye queer folk kwi-south Korea ucinga, Heee, linda. Andifuni t uyenze lonto.